Girl has moves.

Every day when I pick C up from daycare she runs up and gives me the biggest hug and every day I think "this is why I'm working" not for the hug, although that is a wonderful bonus, but for her. I'm working to make her life as awesome possible.
The girl loves daycare. LOVES it. We had a few days where she would cry when I dropped her off but I would hear her stop the second the door closed. She was playing me. She naps better there(up to 3.5 hours!) she eats better, she loves it.
Sometimes at work I watch a video on my phone of her. My most recent one is her wearing pants on her head, she's obsessed with putting anything on as a hat. My other favorite is her dancing. Girl has moves.

Things that are different.

Hi ignored blog.

So much has been happening.
I try to think about my life befor C and it seems like a million lifetimes away. Every day she amazes me. I look a pictures even from a few months ago and hardly recognize her. The chubby rolls are disappearing, the toothless grin now sports almost 16 teeth and her fuzzy bald head now has enough hair that I could put it into a ponytail or two if she let me.

Her personality is shining through and sometimes I wonder if I see glimpses of who she will become.

The biggest change though is that I start a new job on Monday.
My days of being a SAHM are over. The job basically landed in my lap and with so many renos to do on our house and money becoming tighter and tighter I knew I would have to take it. Jobs just don't land in your lap these days.

When they first approached me I almost puked. Go back to work? Leave my baby? What kind of sick people where they! Then I got more and more used to the idea and realised that I would like to be able to buy clothes again that aren't from the clearance rack at Joe Fresh. Not that theres anything wrong with that, I loves me some 4 dollar sweaters.

And then they made me wait. I interviewed for the job and didn't find out for over a month if I had it or not. During that time I realised that I would be sad if I didn't get it.

The next big thing was finding daycare. Daycare in this city is a mythical creature. A mythical creature that costs up to 1900 a month or roughly the same as renting a nice condo. We lucked out by actually being friends with someone who runs a homecare. She had a space opening up and we kicked a few people she was interviewing out of line and put C with her. C loves her and the other kids. She's had two transition days. Both days when I dropped her off she did a little dance and only fussed when I picked her up.

I only cried the first time I dropped her off and even then it was a short sob. I surprised myself because I was prepared for some major bawling.

So that's it. I mean obviously that's not is a million other things have been whirling around my life but that is the Coles notes version.

I got a job. C is going to hang out at daycare. Im going to buy new shoes.

Movers and shakers

No one told me that a walker was tiring and that a week after she mastered walking she would be running across the house with a lunch bag in her hand and a sippy cup in her mouth.
C has started the point and whine. Its awesome because in general she can have what shes pointing at but sometimes its something crazy like my glasses or a mug of hot cofffee and she loses her shizz and looks at us like we have slapped her in the face.
Right now she is sick. Except she didn't get the memo. She is still running around laughing and being happy but she is covered in red spots and her nose is a leaky slimey faucet. The doctor thinks she has hand,foot,mouth but without the hand,foot or mouth part. It could also be chicken pox with a few spots in odd places. Both of those things are suppose to make her want to lay in bed snuggling. Instead she is running around moving things from place to place stopping only to hand me this or take a sip from her cup.

We are only getting a small tree this year. A mantle tree because miss mover would surely try to move every ornament from the tree to behind the mini quitar amp that she hides things behind. A quick glance behind there now reveals a bag of crushed cheese crackers, a Christmas card envelope, a remote for something and 3 different socks.

And she wakes...

Molars are a pain.

Molars can bite me. C's are coming in. We know this because she will spend the day with snot face and then at night wake up about 30 minutes after going down screaming like someone set her on fire and does not stop until the medicine kicks in. And until it does she does not want to leave my side. She just stares at me, writhing in in pain, trying to find a position that is comfortable. It is like wrestling with a baby chimp. Maybe if she can get her feet on my shoulders the pain will stop, nope, maybe the top of her head in my lap with her butt in the air will work, nope, okay..what about one sitting on my knees with my face pressed into mamas armpit while my arms try to wrap around her neck while I shake my head "no" that might work. Nope. None of it works.
I tried explaining to her that one days she will get momey for these teeth and the tooth fairy will remember those sleepless nights and pay big bucks for those molars. But since shes almost one shes not really getting it.

In a blink..

This is happening in our house right now. This was last week so now she is much more stable.

Where my camp is.

I really do mean to write more. I am constantly writing things in my head, the millions of tiny things I notice everyday, the things I have come to realise not everyone sees, I'm always amazed when I say to Jonathan "Did you see that?" and he hasn't because those tiny things to me are like flashing lights. I wish I had a camera in my head so I could review each detail and tell a little story about each item, something I tend to do. I really want a digital SLR, I just cannot commit because I have a fear that he second I buy one a better one would come out and the one I just bought would drop in price. Yes, I'm afraid of missing a deal.
Autumn is here. In our house it is the favorite time of year! Yesterday marked our 12 year dating anniversary, next week is our 2 year marriage anniversary and next month is C's 1st birthday, Thanksgiving( they fall on the same day this year!) and Halloween!
I was in Bath and Body Works yesterday, just to browse, and ended up leaving with 3 soaps and 4 candles(bogo) all because they were fall scents. If my whole house smelled of caramel, leaves and apples all year round I'd be alright with that! This weekend we are repainting our kitchen. We only just painted it last year but after living with the colour we both agreed that the lemony yellow was a lemon and what we(ok, me.) was a golden yellow. It hit me last night why we didnt gel with the lemon yellow, it is a summer colour and our tent is firmly set up in the autumn. Even our first apartment, which was a dump, we painted in a fall palette. Sure the orange bathroom was a bit of a shock in the morning, but I still love the deep plum we painted the living room, although we probably won't be painting a room that shade any time soon.
Fall is so in the air that yesterday I bought a slow cooker. It was on sale(of course) and I'd been pinning slow cooker recipes on Pintrest so I figured I might as well give it a go. I am imaging warm comfort foods with slices of grainy crusty bread slathered in butter. Because fall means the carb intake somehow doubles, surely a left over from the caveman days of low food suppy during winter.
Fall makes me think about knitting something and this time finishing it. A warm chunky throw to curl up in with C, although more likely a wonky scarf that is either too long or too short.
I wish there was somewhere in the world where the weather was always like it is now. I'd move there in a second.

The other day I had lunch with one of my best friends, we started as co-workers but quickly became great friends. When he left my former work place I actually cried, who would I eat lunch with? would someone replace me at his new job? Would ii have to find a new gay coworker to send pics of Jake Gyllenhal to? We sort of made a deal that when I was ready to go back to work he would try his hardest to get me into his new place. Since my old employer closed down shop while I was on mat leave I have no job to go back to. This led us to decide that I should stay home for ay least 18 months, unless of course a really great job came up. So I'm having lunch with my friend and he tells me he has a plan that involves me. To make a long story short-ish, it involves him taking a new position and me taking his old one.
In September/October.

I felt a little sick at first, which I always do when plans are changed, then I felt like crying. The thought of leaving C to go back to work fills me with heavy dread. Daycare in Toronto costs between 1500-1800 a month, or the same as renting a nice condo. On top of that we aren't on any waiting lists, which is like admitting you enjoy kicking dogs. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself though, he has yet to apply for the position and I have yet to polish up my resume.
The truth is though that if I was offered the job at the same salary I know my friend is making(I'm the one that encouraged him to ask for more when they offered him the job) I would have to take it. Sure we would have to scramble for childcare but those things have a way of working out. I have spent the last few nights mentally figuring out how much money I'd be bringing in since I no longer have any debt(other than the mortgage) and how we could actually start soing some of the things we have always talked about doing a lot sooner rather than later and my brain does a happy little dance until it reminds me that C wouldn't be smiling at me when she wakes up from naps or scrambling up my body to hug me or flashing me a smile when she does something new and my chest tightens and my eyes fill with tears. I try to remind myself that a year is what the rest of my friends get for mat leave and we are so lucky to get a whole year.